When Rabbie Burns wrote in his ode to a moose.. “wee sleekit cowerin’ timourous beastie..whit a panics in thy breastie” he must have seen one o my forefathers reacting to the sound that to this day chills ma wee bones tae the core and sends me scurrying doon the nearest hole. My wee mam told me that a busker who was charged for playing a musical instrument in Londons Hampstead Heath tried to subvert the Citys bylaws with a special defence;;; “its no a musical instrument m’lud..it’s a weapon o insurrection”!

That piper has my admiration, sorely lacking in others like him, he had a rare thing amongst his redfaced blowing brethren..a sense of humour.

Q-What did the piper get on his IQ test?

A- Drool!